All right. Before you start to wonder about whether I am going to rant about divorces or separations and marital problems, no I’m not. At least not now, as I’m not exactly an “experienced authority” on that subject.
This particular post would not really have been written, if it did not mystify me so much. I’m still so confused about it all, I had to get it out…..
It all begins with this profile I put up on a matrimonial site. Yeah yeah, I did it!! Sooner or later, you have to get all the doting “concerned” aunts and the emotionally blackmailing parents off your back!! Its rather amusing the fact that the moment you start to approach a particular age, suddenly everyone wants to start giving you advice about marriage!! [Generally, everyone wants to give advice, but that’s another matter altogether!!]. But then let me also state that I put up the profile not for the fun of it, but rather seriously. Those who have found and read my profile will see the sincerity and effort in it. Yes I am looking for a soulmate…… not that I’m not happy being single, but just that I’d like to share my life with someone special now….. so that’s that!! Enough with the mushy talk already!!
Well so this profile has started to get viewed by many eligible spinsters and I have met a few of them, some of whom are now my very good friends. So when I received this message from a rather attractive girl, I was not really surprised:
“Hey there, I liked your profile a lot and I’d love to get to know you better!! You can contact me on.. etc. etc.”
Fairly standard reply, warranted a fairly standard answer. I gave her my contacts and introduced myself. A couple of messages follow, mostly dealing with “when is a good time to call” and “who’s gonna call first”.
So, as chivalry demands it [yeah, I’m rather old school!!], I call!! General pleasantries follow, with standard questions about family, education, work etc. etc. I get compliments about a great profile and how she felt connected to me after reading it!! [What women have about ESP based communication I can never understand. Its always connections, vibes, positive energy and all that!!]
Now here’s where it gets funny. When I get home and check my life online, I have an invite from this lady on Orkut!! Now this is a first!! Either this lady is really a social animal or a nice friendly person. Even I’d think twice before adding a person I’ve never met….. and this is a girl, for heaven’s sake!!!! So I leave her a scrap, about she trying to stalk me and all!! Yeah, my corny sense of humour there!! That very evening, we’re talking on the telephone…. for an hour!! Now this is happening almost everyday!!! I don’t know about you, but with that much interaction with a person in such little time, I start to warm towards them!! I like friendly people!!!
Cut to a week later, we finally decide to meet. Needless to say, we’re rather pally at this stage, or so I gather!! And I’m finally sitting across a table from this lady. The conversation goes on, back and forth on rather general things. Something that is rather noticeable is the frequent periods of silence, as if we’ve spoken all we had to say. And to think this is the same lady I had hour-long conversations on the telephone!! It was indeed quickly evident that this was going nowhere, despite our desperate attempts to salvage the date!! Talk about a total “rain on my parade” scenario!!!
Well to top it all, she takes my business card. I mean, unless you’re dating a fellow professional in the same field, do you ask for a business card on a date, a “looking for marriage” one at that??? And rather conveniently, she’s not carrying hers. Well, it was a first for me!!
Well, that was ok. We did not gel and though we had a good time offline, we weren’t exactly comfortable with each other. Nervousness, maybe but I’ve never been at a loss for words before!! So this was seriously mismatched!! End of disastrous date!!
Now here’s the really messed up part!!
Years of social etiquette practice has taught me to always follow up with a thank you note, whether it is a meeting, an interview, a party or an appointment. So why should a date be any different?? I write her a rather humorous note thanking her for the date and that I liked her and we need some time to think about it….. With my extremely chivalrous upbringing [Thanks Mom :-)], Its tough to be blunt and undiplomatic with a woman!!
Two days later I get a response. As expected, its a “regret to inform you that we don’t match” letter. The standard philosophical musings follow with “Marriage is a commitment for life” and “we’re very different from each other”. I was just about to say “Phew, thank heaven” when this line follows:
“I would prefer not to have any further communication!!”
OK now I’m confused!!! The fact that we have had hour-long conversations and have laughed a lot definitely pointed out to the fact that though we may not exactly be spouse material, but we can definitely be friends!!! And Orkut and all the other things!!! Suddenly the “connection” just went dead!!
Now the really creepy part!!
I log into Orkut to find that this lady is no longer in my friends list. Not only that, I can’t find her on the site!! This would happen if someone has deleted her profile or has put you on their “ignore” list!!! So either I’m in a re-run of the X-Files or this lady is downright paranoid!!
BOY, WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!!!!
At first, I doubted whether there was something wrong I did!! But there was nothing that I’d done that could warrant treating me like a serial killer!! I admit I’m eccentric at times, but this was weird!! Downright weird!!
My point of confusion is just how can a person who has been talking to me with so much comfort, just switch off like that?? And that too with the paranoia of Mel Gibson’s character in Conspiracy Theory!! She really did not seem that mannerless, but then these are strange times we live in. I guess it takes all types to make the world go round!!!
PS: I’m wondering whether she’s changed all the telephones of her house, considering that she called me from every one of them!!
Navin's Point of View 